This is what it would say:
Melissa's version: "Dear Family and Friends,
Greetings from South Bend, Indiana! 2011 has come and gone, and with it another year of school, work, vacation, projects, laughter, and the usual plots for world domination. Mike is currently taking his second-to-last final of his second-to-last semester, so it is up to me, Melissa, to write the annual review.
2011 was a very meat-and-potatoes kind of year, all things considered. Mike keeps busy finishing up Law School at University of Notre Dame, working at South Bend's Legal Aid Clinic, working with the youth at our church, watching football, listening to NPR, and trying to beat Melissa at MarioKart. Melissa keeps even busier working full time at Notre Dame's Office of Graduate Studies, earning her MA in English from Indiana University at South Bend, also working with the youth at our church, writing, and convincing Mike that we need even more books in our apartment. They are both very much looking forward to their respective graduations this coming May, that is, if Melissa finds time to finish her thesis. (Side note: we are now accepting suggestions for ways to survive without sleep.)
Believe it or not, we also did stuff besides working on our scholarly and professional goals. (Yes, MarioKart qualifies as a professional goal.) 2011 saw us in Washington DC, Southern California, Salt Lake City, Portland, Pittsburgh, and even in a protest rally in nearby Chicago, though we only lasted a few minutes at that one. Summer brought on a unique challenge when Mike's clerkship took him out-of-state for a few months, leaving Melissa to plot for world domination on her own in South Bend. We are both now exceptional Skypers, and have vowed to never repeat the lonely experience. Still, Melissa made sure that 2011 was filled with Thai food, poetry, and card games, while Mike made sure we didn't forget to eat our vegetables or miss a re-run of Seinfeld. We are happily looking forward to another year of laughter, fulfillment, and arguing over the correct usage of the word 'renown.' We wish you a wonderful holiday season, and cordially invite you to our home any time you wish to play Bang!"
Mike's version: "We're still here, suckers!"
Wishing You a Very Merry Christmas,
Mike and Melissa Wilde
*Which we don't (in either version), so don't feel badly if you didn't get one because no one else got one either.